For starters let me say males and females can not be just friends. the only way I learned to be just friends with a guy is we had to work at it. A man will tell you everything you need to know about him however it is up to you to listen to him.
when I dated Von he told me repeatedly he does not want a relationship , because he does not wish to get married and have children. I could have tried to change him and show him I am the one because that is what most women do , but instead I choose to listen. We were friends, yet we had sex and I listened to him and believed him every time he said if he had a girlfriend he would want someone like me.
I was the perfect woman for him if he wanted a relationship , but he didn’t. Right there if he wanted to be with me we would have been together yet he didn’t so we weren’t. We continued to have sex and go act and act like a couple everything without the actual title. He would be upset when I was dating people and having sex with people but he wasn’t making the effort to truly be with me. When he told me William had a girlfriend I didn’t believe him because I was under the impression he was just jealous. I learned he knew because he was also having sex with his girlfriend.
me and Von had to seperate for about a good year and not speak have sex or anything. When we came back together 9 months later we didn’t have sex. We had to take sex completely out of our relationship. I also was in a relationship at this point in time too.
It was not appropriate for me to go out to the movies every weekend or have coffee dates once a week or go watch the sports games as the bar or spentd every other day with a man who wasn’t my boyfriend. I realized us being friends was a result of me treating him like he was one of my friends.
we have boundaries I don’t tell him about me and sex especially since we had it , I really don’t tell him too much about my relationships either. He asks me how my boyfriends are I say good he even went as far as asking if I’m going to marry who I am dating. We are friends and it took us 5 years to get to this point.
the minute I stopped looking at us and our potential for marriage and kids I realized there is potential there for a great friendship. I even set him up and thought he was going to go the distance with her.
we may not speak as often or hang out as often but ultimately he is one of my best friends and we had sex and dated in the past. Do I think we will ever date again ? No but if he was serious about a future still no. He is in the friend zone for life and because of this we can maintain a strong friendship.