I’ve never been a Woman crush Wednesday

I am really not into social media. It’s never been my thing. Instagram is okay because I like it take pictures rarely do I take any of myself or shade any of my family. Believe it or not I’m a pretty privet person. This blog could be a lot more vulgar honestly but I always find myself holding back. People on the internet can be judgemental too.

Mine year I decided to make an Instagram and behold every Monday and Wednesday was this MCM and WCW and I wanted to be one soooo bad. Messing with older men and multiple men meant no time for social media yet I wanted a boyfriend to post pictures of me. I wanted the idea of a boyfriend more than the actual man the same way I viewed marriage. I wanted the husband not everything that came with him.

i didn’t want to meet anyone, even that night I told my friend robin me and Alex were done and that I was going to take some time for myself and just be alone. No more online dating , no more hooking up with ransoms just be alone. Our after dinner plans consisted of going to be a party on my side of the bridge. (Robin lives in Brooklyn). It was a house party and where the drinks were was where I found him.

Rhis random man I followed on Instagram who I wanted to notice me and he did from all his 3k followers. We sat in the kitchen all night and talked to the point where everyone thought we knew each other and we didn’t. We had just met. After the party ended I took him home and fucked him. Hey one more one night stand won’t hurt will it ?

Except when I got off work the next day he wanted to take me to dinner , that not how meeting syaranhers and having sex goes. But I went out with him and the rest was history. When Alex asked me to marry him I said no because I wanted to marry this stranger for some reason. He was very cute , super tall, military , just how I like them. We spent everyday together and I even went down to South Carolina to meet his mom.

when he told me that he had to relocate for his job I offered to marry him pack my life up and move. I thought we were on the same page he also wanted to get married and have kids. He was also desperate.

I let this man move into my home all because he made me his woman crush Wednesday, and every Monday he was mine. We had cute pictures on social media , I even changed my Facebook status to in a relationship ….and tagged him in it and he accepted. It is very sad how much I valued myself and my love life based off what people I didn’t know on social media thought.

there is a downside to dating someone who is always on social media , they are always on social media 😒. I don’t do social media so here are our arguments. He literally would tell people go like his post and had apps to help get his followers up, so unneeded at least to me. I found out one day when he came home drunk and I searched his phone that he was messing around with some girl from snap chat.

him and this girl would literally snap chat message only when I was around or when it was something inappropriate. one njghg I took him to a pre birthday dinner for his birthday. He sat in his phone the whole time messaging her and he didn’t want to come home with me that night and I got desperate. I was using him to get over Larry who was now moving in with his girlfriend in our old house ! I couldn’t go through another heartbreak like that again. But I didn’t love this man I just said I did because he filled my voids at the time. Our breakup ended up with me at the police station and a lesson from the stranger , you don’t love someone after 3 months.

twlling this story you would think we dated for months or even years right nope, I dated this man for 3 months and went crazy super crazy because I was heartbroken and didn’t take the time to heal emotionally.

yes it is sad the man I almost married a year and a half ago broke up with 6 months ago is now dating his best friend , is now moving in with her , and is still shaping me and of my decisions no matter how much I tried to deny he did.

this relationship  was doomed from the start , two desperate people yet we continued and tried. I stayed and got with this man all to be a woman crush Wednesday.

Lessons learned : don’t settle.

 

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